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Thank You America, That Wall Really Needed To Go Anyways
The following was written by Duffel Blog special correspondent Ahmed ibn Muhammed ibn Muhammed Bashir Muhammed, a resident of Mosul, Iraq. Hello America, are you there? It’s me, Ahmed ibn Muhammed ibn...
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Heartwarming Steel Reserve Super Bowl Ad Welcomes Soldier Home To Empty...
FT STEWART, GA — Critics are hailing a new 60-second television advertisement from Steel Brewing Company set to air during the Super Bowl, which features the tear-jerking story of a soldier’s return...
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National Guard Stands Ready To Defend Constitution, Conduct Vehicle Maintenance
ARLINGTON, Va. — As budget cuts hit all levels of the U.S. military, leaders in the Army National Guard Bureau are fighting back against fiscal hawks in Congress by highlighting the service’s long...
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Lieutenant Immediately Regrets Showing Picture Of Girlfriend To New Platoon
FORT DRUM, N.Y. — 2nd Lt. Micheal Podwoski arrived at his first command with wide eyes and a goal of reaching his soldiers on a personal level, but he’s regretting his attempt to earn their respect by...
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National Guard Drill Weekend Optional, Command Picnic Mandatory
MURFREESBORO, Tenn. — Some National Guard soldiers thought they had September off but instead faced mandatory fun days, sources confirmed. The National Guard had announced at the beginning of September...
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Blue Force Tracker Becomes Self-Aware, Has Existential Crisis
KANDAHAR, Afghanistan — A Blue Force Tracker system currently in use by U.S. troops for navigation and communication became self-aware Wednesday, and it’s now in the middle of an existential crisis,...
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Department Of The Army Diagnosed With ADHD
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Department of the Army has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) after failing to find a mission it both likes and will stick with, doctors...
View ArticleSoldier Dies From Massive Erection After Firing .50-Cal For The First Time
FORT LEONARD WOOD — An Army soldier attending basic training died from a massive rush of blood to his penis after firing the M2 .50-caliber machine gun for the first time, sources confirmed. Pvt....
View ArticleOpinion: Riding In A Humvee Always Gives Me A Boner
The following is an op-ed by that guy in second platoon that is a habitual over-sharer. Hey man! LT said Jones is out sick so it looks like I'll be a dismount for your truck crew today. You know what...
View ArticleOp-Ed: I Sexually Identify As An A-10 Thunderbolt
The following is an opinion piece written by Spc. Herbert Pansing, US Army. The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Duffel Blog or the editors. I have finally found the strength to admit...
View ArticleISIS Launches Salsa Night For Morale, Ends With 39 Beheaded
MOSUL, Iraq — The Islamic State (ISIS), has taken a play from the American military handbook by hosting a Salsa Night in Mosul, sources in the Caliphate confirmed. The event was intended for soldiers...
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Soldier Disappointed To Learn Jade Helm Not In Fact A Coup
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, Texas- A soldier participating in Jade Helm is disappointed to learn the military is not actually imposing martial law and taking over Texas, sources confirmed. Sergeant 1st...
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Veteran With PTSD Tells Neighborhood Not To Have Any Fun This 4th Of July
HARRISBURG, Pa. — Mike Tyler, an Army veteran who diagnosed himself with PTSD four years ago, is asking everyone to please respect his veteran status and forgo anything fun this Independence Day...
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Veterans Unsure Whether They Can Make Fun of Medal Of Honor Hero
THE INTERNET — Following an outspoken Medal of Honor recipient’s recent commentaries on politically-charged events, many veterans are conflicted over the acceptability of belittling someone who was...
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Captain Charged With Manslaughter After Leaving Lieutenant Unattended In...
FORT HUACHUCA, AZ — The company commander of a signal unit has been arrested on manslaughter charges after leaving his executive officer unattended in a parked car Friday, military police confirmed....
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Thank You America, That Wall Really Needed To Go Anyways
The following was written by Duffel Blog special correspondent Ahmed ibn Muhammed ibn Muhammed Bashir Muhammed, a resident of Mosul, Iraq. Hello America, are you there? It’s me, Ahmed ibn Muhammed ibn...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Heartwarming Steel Reserve Super Bowl Ad Welcomes Soldier Home To Empty...
FT STEWART, GA — Critics are hailing a new 60-second television advertisement from Steel Brewing Company set to air during the Super Bowl, which features the tear-jerking story of a soldier’s return...
View ArticleClik here to view.
National Guard Stands Ready To Defend Constitution, Conduct Vehicle Maintenance
ARLINGTON, Va. — As budget cuts hit all levels of the U.S. military, leaders in the Army National Guard Bureau are fighting back against fiscal hawks in Congress by highlighting the service’s long...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Lieutenant Immediately Regrets Showing Picture Of Girlfriend To New Platoon
FORT DRUM, N.Y. — 2nd Lt. Micheal Podwoski arrived at his first command with wide eyes and a goal of reaching his soldiers on a personal level, but he’s regretting his attempt to earn their respect by...
View ArticleClik here to view.
National Guard Drill Weekend Optional, Command Picnic Mandatory
MURFREESBORO, Tenn. — Some National Guard soldiers thought they had September off but instead faced mandatory fun days, sources confirmed. The National Guard had announced at the beginning of...
View Article