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AWOL Private Returns After Seven Years With Box Of Grid Squares
FORT BRAGG, NC - Army Private Steven Gerner disappeared seven years ago, officially listed as AWOL. His family, friends and Army buddies all assumed he’d had an accident or lost his nerve and no one...
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Soldier Discharged For ‘Having His Goddamned Hands in His Pockets’, Says CSM
FT LEONARD WOOD, MO - A soldier with the 318th Military Police Company is being processed out of the Army after being found by his Sergeant Major as having “his goddamn hands in his pockets,” according...
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Change Of Command Ceremony Dissolves Into Giant Orgy
FORT BLISS, TX – A change of command ceremony recently ended in a disgusting and repulsive mess of semen and fecal matter, sources confirmed today. Over two hundred soldiers were present and forced to...
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Veterans Affairs And Staples Team Up To Produce Mega-Shredder
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Department of Veterans Affairs announced today it would be partnering with the office supply company Staples to produce the largest document shredder known to man. Secretary of...
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Captain Charged With Manslaughter After Leaving Lieutenant Unattended In...
FORT HUACHUCA, AZ — The company commander of a signal unit has been arrested on manslaughter charges after leaving his executive officer unattended in a parked car Friday, military police confirmed....
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Thank You America, That Wall Really Needed To Go Anyways
The following was written by Duffel Blog special correspondent Ahmed ibn Muhammed ibn Muhammed Bashir Muhammed, a resident of Mosul, Iraq. Hello America, are you there? It’s me, Ahmed ibn Muhammed ibn...
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Heartwarming Steel Reserve Super Bowl Ad Welcomes Soldier Home To Empty...
FT STEWART, GA — Critics are hailing a new 60-second television advertisement from Steel Brewing Company set to air during the Super Bowl, which features the tear-jerking story of a soldier’s return...
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Study: Random, Pointless Formations Tied To Increase In Combat Performance,...
FORT CAMPBELL, KY – First Sergeants throughout the Army and Marine Corps are celebrating the release of a study today that shows a direct and positive impact on combat performance that correlates with...
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Opinion: Putting Your Hands In Your Pockets Will Get You Killed
The following is an opinion piece by Sergeant Major of the Army Raymond F. Chandler III. Listen up troops. Listen really closely. You want to put your hands in your pockets? Too friggin’ bad. It’s...
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Army To Encourage Belittling Soldiers With Mental Health Issues
THE PENTAGON - Following another devastating report on the increase in the number of soldiers committing suicide, the Army is scrambling to solve the continuing crisis. Secretary of the Army John...
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AWOL Private Returns After Seven Years With Box Of Grid Squares
FORT BRAGG, NC - Army Private Steven Gerner disappeared seven years ago, officially listed as AWOL. His family, friends and Army buddies all assumed he’d had an accident or lost his nerve and no one...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Soldier Discharged For ‘Having His Goddamned Hands in His Pockets’, Says CSM
FT LEONARD WOOD, MO - A soldier with the 318th Military Police Company is being processed out of the Army after being found by his Sergeant Major as having “his goddamn hands in his pockets,” according...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Change Of Command Ceremony Dissolves Into Giant Orgy
FORT BLISS, TX – A change of command ceremony recently ended in a disgusting and repulsive mess of semen and fecal matter, sources confirmed today. Over two hundred soldiers were present and forced to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Veterans Affairs And Staples Team Up To Produce Mega-Shredder
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Department of Veterans Affairs announced today it would be partnering with the office supply company Staples to produce the largest document shredder known to man. Secretary of...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Captain Charged With Manslaughter After Leaving Lieutenant Unattended In...
FORT HUACHUCA, AZ — The company commander of a signal unit has been arrested on manslaughter charges after leaving his executive officer unattended in a parked car Friday, military police confirmed....
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